Boarding the plane in Portland I watched the sun fill the sky. I often forget that one of the greatest gifts of living in Maine is that it's the first place in the United States that the sun touches.
Sitting against the window, exhausted, I didn't realize what was awaiting me in Boca at Spring Masterminds.
The past few months had been pretty rough for me emotionally. I was constantly flip flopping between decisions and couldn't seem to decide on what was going to make me innately happy. So much indecision and lack of clarity can be exhausting in itself.
The plane pushed back and I closed my eyes as we soared off the runway. No matter how many times I fly, I still get nervous at take off. I have this feeling that if something is going to go wrong, it will go wrong as we leave the runway. I also know that if it is my time, I can't do anything about it. I must keep flying to awesome places and living my life. Anyway, soaring above the clouds I let my mind wander, something I do all too often.
What if? I kept asking myself. What if? Now the only problem with that question, is no matter how enlightened I am, no matter how much I want to, I can NOT predict the future. No amount of "what if" questions will ever actually give me an answer. You'd think there would be some solace in that, instead, I keep asking.
The thing about me is, I'm a thinker. Given one situation, I will sit and imagine it playing out about five different ways. Some would say that's because my optimism is low on the Keller Personality Assessment, and some would say it's because I'm a dreamer. I think it's because I'm a DS on the DISC and I have this need to constantly be growing and changing yet I also like control. They don't often align. However it makes for an exciting ride.
Lesson: Don't over think it, you can't actually control the outcome
I know some of you are thinking, wait, yes you can control your life. You're given the power of choice and you can decide. Well, yes, I agree with you and YOU can make a choice. I can decide, however that doesn't account for the other people involved. Most commonly our decisions involve other people and you can't control the choices they make.
I've spent so much time mapping out how things might play out in any given situation, and almost always it doesn't go the way I thought it would, because of other people involved. The hours I've wasted mapping out situations that I really didn't have any control of is staggering. Now, part of it is just who I am internally. Part of it could be toned down. I need to learn to live in the moment a bit more. I can't control all things and why waste so much time planning out all the ways in which it might go, just to have it turn out differently.
I don't believe in coincidences. In the middle of all my worrying, I received this photo from a dear friend... and then Dianna shared at Masterminds: “Dream of something so BIG that when it does happen it could have only happened by God.”
I know that most of my worrying was for nothing, because I was surrounded by high minded people who would love me no matter what.
Lesson: Surround yourself with people who see your greatness
I don't need to say too much about this one... surround yourself with people who see your greatness. That's it. It's simple. Don't allow people into your life who don't believe in you. Don't allow people into your life who don't think as BIG as you do. It's simple. Be aware and be purposeful every day.